There are definitely two Chicago’s drawn by a line on State Street. From plush Downton headed south to the wild, wild 100’s of Roseland is one city. It is filled with crime, a lack of resources and high unemployment. From that same street headed north, alleys are paved, businesses are booming and the beaches are still safe. Yet, taxes on the resource-less Southside will increase the same as the Northside again. That doesn’t make any sense. We know life isn’t fair but we can name the unfairness over on the Southside-political injustice is the culprit. Southsiders must secede. If we have two cities why pay taxes for a one-sided investment? Let’s draw the line based on demographics. Let’s create a new city.
Build That Wall
First things first, we will build a wall in the middle of State Street beginning at the Lake. Entry gates will be included but only 1 day visas. If you think Germany had a problem wait until you see our restrictions. The wall will be to protect Northsiders since it’s Southsiders that are the criminals. Just like in monopoly, we will take the Board of Trade, Museum Campus, Soldier Field, McCormick Place and much more. They land on our side of State. Thanks.
The Corporate Revenue Fund will need an audit starting July 4th, 2017 to retrieve all Southside taxes, tickets, fees, etc that have been haphazardly dumped in the money abyss. All monies will be deposited into separate accounts similar to enterprise Funds (remember the garbage fee-same idea).Ticket revenue will be deposited into Traffic Enterprise Fund, Police Fees into Police Fee Enterprise Fund, etc. you get the gist. In Southside Chicago we will be economically advantageous and systematically organized to continuously audit our economy. We will not have a Corporate Revenue Fund that acts as petty cash.
School Is In
Since Southside students already lag behind the nation in testing, school is in. No Child Left Behind is more than a statement in this new city. Families with children will have deductions from their taxes deposited straight into their local school funds. All schools will be neighborhood. No more buses or “L” rides for pre-schoolers. Extra curricular activities are free and open to any kid at any school. Theater and the arts will be available at each school to encourage future employment in the burgeoning Hollywood scene here. Poor kids can act, sing and play instruments, too.
In Southside Chicago, businesses will be able to open 30 days after completion of their federal Small Business Association approval. Alderman and politicians cannot delay the economy for personal reasons. If a business is deemed needed and justified by the SBA, it will open. In the first two years of the city’s foundation, businesses may receive tax credits for utilizing abandoned storefronts, manufacturers and other structures. All businesses are encouraged through a tax break to hire locally-same neighborhood where they conduct business. The city will create business newsletters for each household in the areas and make Shop Locally a mandate.
We have learned from the mistakes of others in creating destitution in certain areas of urban sprawl. Those lessons will guide us in successful secession. In the near future we will all be saying Happy Southside Chicago Day!